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Now is the time in my treatment where my doctor would like to add an anti-inflammatory to the anti-viral medication that I have been taking. Because I am sensitive to medication, I will probably get at least one side effect. I definitely need to be careful about what I introduce to my system, since the whole point of treatment is to increase health, well-being and general functionality.

So now I am shopping for side effects, needing to choose an affordable drug with side effects that I can deal with should they arise. I am seeing how scary the world of anti-inflammatories is; from “suicidal thoughts”, panic attacks, blurry vision, to the very symptoms that I am working to prevent. Never mind cost or availability to insurance, or any of those more mundane details.

I am understandably looking into alternative treatments, nutrition and otherwise. These may also carry side-effects but perhaps more gentle?

The thing that occurs to me is that my actual illness is almost like a collection of side-effects in itself. All of the medication I am taking or looking into is really for a different disease. This is all a big experiment. I am betting my life on it. In one sense I must proceed with care, and in another sense I am already “all in” and simply need to bravely face whatever comes next.